


Too cold for angels to fly

by Emilily



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Drug Addiction, F/F, Female Gabriel, Female Sam Winchester, Genderbending, Genderswap, Guardian Angels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 17:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilily/pseuds/Emilily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam thought she'd never feel alive again, living on the dope she bought with money she earned on the street. But as if answering her prayer of a better life, she meets Gabrielle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too cold for angels to fly

It was the twenty first of November, and though it had not yet started snowing it was freezing cold outside. Children ran along the city streets laughing and breathing out as if they were pretending to be dragons, while their parents followed them slowly, carrying bags of Christmas shopping.

Old couples walked hand in hand and spoke of the long past and short future together; sending each other warm looks of affection every three or four steps.

Lone women and men strolled down the streets with dogs on leashes or phones by the ear, covered in coats and hats and large scarves to keep out the cold. Some of them still had the audacity to complain about the weather, either into the telephone or just out there in the open, as if they hadn’t noticed the young woman sitting on the ground by the entrance to the clothes shop.

“Spare some change?” was all she said, looking up at the passersby, holding out an empty cup from McDonalds in one hand and clutching her blanket around her with the other. Most people just walked past her, not even sparing her a glance, while a few others felt sorry for her in the winter cold and let a few coins slip into her cup, a little to make her feel better and a lot to make themselves feel better.

Her name was Sam Winchester. This was one of the few things she still clung unto, because being Sam Winchester meant never giving up. Not even after having lived like this for far too long for anyone’s good. She had no job, no apartment and no longer any contact to her family. And more importantly...

“Sammy,” came the dark voice of a young man, possibly a few years younger than Sam. The man was dressed in a down jacket and worn out jeans, and as he sat down next to Sam, she could smell his high class boy’s perfume. A smell that made her nauseous, because she knew what having him around meant. The young man clicked his tongue at her, as if to comment on her state of life, and laid one arm around her shoulders.

“You need some?” he asked and patted his chest, where she knew a bag of brown heroin was hidden in an inner pocket. She tried averting her eyes, but they kept being forced back by a magnetic force. “I haven’t got the money,” she answered, and the man let go of her shoulder, clicking his tongue again. “Aw, Sammy, sucks for you, lass.” He said as he got up again, smiling at a woman passing by. “But you know where to find me, a’ight?” Sam just nodded. And then he walked away again, clearly disappointed not to have made a deal.

But it was okay, because she knew far too well where to find him.

“Spare some change? It’s almost Christmas,” Sam tried to smile, but the smiles never seemed genuine any more, how could they, when she knew how she would spend her days sitting like this and then later her nights doing things she shouldn’t be doing with so many strangers. No, Sam wasn’t able to make her smiles reach her eyes.

“Hey kiddo, isn’t it cold sitting on the ground like that?” Sam had been resting her head against the wall, eyes closed, trying to figure out a way to keep the hunger down, but the voice that just spoke was clearly aimed for her, and so with a frown she opened her eyes and tried making out the figure standing in front of her. It was early sunset, and she was facing west, so the person in front of her was fringed with a strong warm light, making their silhouette almost black and unclear.

“Of course it’s cold,” was Sam’s reply, as she let her eyes adjust to the strong light, slowly making out the person in front of her. The first thing that came to her mind was, cheesily enough, _the smile of an angel_.

The woman facing Sam seemed like a middleclass or higher middleclass woman. She was wearing more clothes that Sam herself, but far too little to actually look like she was keeping out any cold, not to speak of the fact that her outerwear seemed to have been carelessly thrown on. Even her hair was messy, pulled into an untidy ponytail and had it not been for her outstanding smile and the spark in her gold eyes, then Sam wouldn’t have noticed her at all.

She was holding a small shopping bag from the nearest candy store, and Sam guessed that she must’ve had children waiting for her at home, because the bag seemed full and rather heavy. “Come on, I’ll buy coffee,” said the woman and stretched out a hand towards Sam, her eyes beaming as if she had an insider joke with herself. 

Long ago it had been Sam’s policy to stay put on her station and collect as much money as possible, even when offered something, but as she had gotten used to a life on the street, she’d figured out that whenever someone offered her something, anything, she ought to just take it. It would (more often than not) be worth more than what she could earn on the concrete in the same span of time. So when the woman had stretched out her hand, offering Sam coffee, there had been not a single doubt in Sam’s heart.  
“Sounds good.”

“The name’s Gabrielle,” the woman said, sitting down opposite of Sam, placing the tray with coffee (and much to Sam’s surprise two sandwiches) between herself and Sam. Sam looked up from the tray and into the gold eyes of her sudden daddy longlegs and replied with a fake smile “Mine’s Sam,”

She received a smile from the woman across the table and a chuckle a bit deeper than what she’d expected. “Well Sam, I bought you coffee,” Gabrielle said and removed her own items from the tray before pushing it towards Sam, who thought _to hell with manners_ and greedily dug into the sandwich and scalding hot coffee.

While she ate, she looked up every once in a while and met the observant eyes of the woman. Each time their eyes met Gabrielle closed hers and smiled widely, almost too sugary to be genuine. Not that it mattered to Sam, but it was an interesting thing to take notion of. When she’d finished her meal she sat back and sighed in delight.  
It had been long since she’d eaten a full meal, not that she thought about it.

Gabrielle smiled at the content look on Sam’s face as she continued her coffee, “So, what’s the dealio, kiddo?” asked the older woman, not to Sam’s surprise. “Ran away from home and got into the big city on accident?”

“Could say that. Actually I went to college, bit against my father’s will, and somehow things got screwed over and now I’m here.” Sam went for the short story, the one not involving the drugs and her family begging her to come back... No one needed to know that.

But Gabrielle just laughed, her gold eyes beaming with that odd spark of _I know something you don’t, and I’m not telling_ that actually made Sam feel a little uncomfortable. But at the same time, when she thought of it, it felt a bit nice to sit together with someone who looked like they had an overview of things.  
Because that meant she didn’t need to. So Sam joined in and laughed for the first time in a while.

-.-.-.-

She was leaning in through the open window of a dusty grey Citroën, flashing as much of her small breasts as she could, pouting her lips like she’d seen the other women on the street do and bargaining with the man inside. With her earnings from tonight she could buy enough heroin to fly again. And then it didn’t matter how she’d get the money, because she needed it. _Right fucking now_. “Yeah, but that’s gonna cost double,” she said putting up a smile and fluttering her eye lashes, even though she was embarrassed with what she’d become and what she did just to get her kick.

“Forget about it, cunt, you aren’t worth that much,” the man in the car said. As he drove away from Sam, who was trying to back pedal and re-bargain, he stuck his middle finger out of the window and Sam could swear she’d heard the word “whore” being yelled after her.

“Well, at least I’m not the one who has to pay for sex,” she told no one in particular, as she leaned against a lamp post, her body aching with weariness and hunger. Oh, if she only had enough money to buy herself some dope, then all her problems would go away, at least for a few blissful moments where she’d fly like a bird, not giving food or rest or water a thought in the world.

But instead of money and heroin and bliss she got sweating attacks, nausea, sleeping problems and muscle pains. At least she was able to admit to herself that she was addicted.

“Why are you here, Sammy?” came a voice that was familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. Sam straightened up and looked in the direction from where the female voice had come, and her eyes met with Gabrielle’s for an odd long moment. The voice itself had been easy to recognise, but the tone had been careful and Sam was sure she had heard... some sort of blame in it. Sam did not care for that tone.

“I don’t need your self-righteousness.” Sam replied, her voice harder than it needed to be. She could feel another sweat attack creeping in on her, but she tensed her muscles so her shaking wouldn’t show. “We’ve met once, I don’t think you have the privilege to play holy around me,” Sam turned away from the woman, who she could hear was walking closer.

When the clicking of Gabrielle’s shoes stopped, Sam let her curiosity take over and turned around to face the woman she’d only ever talked to once before. The motion must have been threatening, because Gabrielle put up her hands in defence “I’m not judging you, honest to God.”

Sam had a hard time believing that. That is until Gabrielle told her that she lived nearby and invited her in to at least not freeze to death. Sam agreed with the offer. She told herself that she could always go out on the street later again.

Gabrielle’s apartment was nice. Sam had guessed correctly when she’d thought that Gabrielle must’ve been part of the upper middleclass. The place was large for one woman living alone (Sam has quickly discovered that there were no children and no husband around) and the furniture was comfortable and looked more expensive than needed.

Guiding Sam to the nearest couch, Gabrielle went into her kitchen and soon returned with cold spaghetti in a food container in one hand and a fork in the other. “Go nuts. I put the kettle on as well,” she said, smiling, as she handed the food over to Sam without even asking if she wanted any. Gabrielle herself went into war with the candy bowl that stood on the sofa table.

Well, Gabrielle sure was an oddball, taking a stray dog like Sam in, feeding her from her table (or refrigerator) and acting so relaxed around her. Sam really couldn’t get her head around that woman, but hey, at least the spaghetti was good. “How old are you, Sam?” asked Gabrielle, suddenly interrupting Sam’s train of thoughts. “twenty one,”

Gabrielle just nodded, suddenly looking more serious than Sam had seen her before (which Sam had to remind herself wasn’t that odd, since they barely even knew each other. Who knew, maybe Gabrielle was normally a completely serious woman... Sam doubted it). “You _are_ judging me, right?” Sam asked, filling her mouth with another forkful of food.

The woman shook her head, “I don’t judge, that’s not in my place, but I do feel...” she took a bite out of a candy bar, and she looked like she was choosing her next word carefully, “compassionate about you.” Her eyes lightened back into the carefree look Sam had already grown accustomed to. It felt nicer that way.

The two women sat opposite of each other for a while, while Sam finished her food and Gabrielle went to the pot and made them both some coffee, although it was too late to drink caffeine now. They ended up small-talking rather than getting back on the track of Sam’s bad choices in life, and if she was to be honest to herself, Sam liked to just sit there and think of nothing but the weather and the overall politics of the country. 

It wasn’t until around two AM that Sam noticed Gabrielle looking weird at her. She must’ve looked at her like that for a while, because when their eyes met Gabrielle showed no sign of pretending to _not_ stare. Sam on the other hand gave Gabrielle a confused look, as to say _why are you staring, could you please stop?_ , but Gabrielle just leaned forward and rested her elbows on her thighs.

“You’re shaking, Sammy.”

“I’m ill,”

“That’s not the shakes you get when you’re sick, kiddo,”

Sam had no reply, because Gabrielle obviously knew what the deal was. And there was no reason to lie; it was not like Sam needed Gabrielle to think she was better than she was, because Gabrielle already knew some of the worst parts of her – more parts than most people she’d bonded with for a long time knew. And for some reason, God knows why, Sam felt that Gabrielle knew even more than that.

That maybe Gabrielle knew her in and out.

The woman leaned back in her chair and sent Sam a smug smile, once again as if to tell her that everything was all right, that she wasn’t judging her. “Here’s the deal,” she began picking her nails, biting at a nail root “I don’t want you to go and suddenly die; I’d feel really bad about that you know, so what do you say you stay in my apartment tonight – just” she held her hands up again, “just to sleep, nothing funny.”

Sam couldn’t believe her ears. This woman was actually letting a girl whom she’d only met twice, and who she knew was a junkie, who lived on the street and prostituted herself, sleep in her apartment?

And Sam couldn’t believe she accepted. The only problem was that she would have to go without dope for longer than she’d planned and definitely longer than she thought she could manage.

-.-.-.-

It was no surprise that Sam had trouble sleeping. She was shaking horribly as soon as Gabrielle had left her alone, since she no longer needed to be stoic around anyone. Panting and shaking she switched between kicking off her blanket because of the heat and sweat and then retrieving it from the floor because she felt cold.

And when she finally fell asleep came the bad dreams. She wouldn’t exactly call them nightmares, but there weren’t any happiness and warmth in them either.

Still, she slept better than she had for years. And in her quiet mind she thanked God for sending Gabrielle to her.

-.-.-.-

In the bedroom next to the living room, where Sam was currently sleeping, sat Gabrielle quietly on her bed, a broad smile plastered on her face. She didn’t need to sleep.

She knew what she’d do in a moment; she just needed a bit of time to collect herself to do so. Because her mind was filled with victory over the fact that she had finally found _her_. It had taken her too long, she admitted that, far too long – which really wasn’t fair to the poor child.

But Gabrielle had been painfully selfish and had not cared about the girl whose guardian she’d been chosen to become. And that had led the girl into trouble, as Gabrielle had lived a fine life on her own, letting go of all responsibilities in the world.

And had it not been because she had stumbled into the girl on accident, then who knows how far down she would have fallen. But as soon as she’d seen the homeless girl sitting in her blanket she’d recognised her. There was a bond between them; a human and a guardian angel would always feel something special at the presence of one another.

But now she was here, and now she was ready to protect Sam. She rose from the bed and slowly walked into the living room, where she found Sam lying on the couch, her blanket half off her and wearing one of Gabrielle’s night dresses (because Gabrielle had insisted, naturally). The girl was a beautiful sight, but so ruined by the fact that Gabrielle had not been there to catch her, when she’d fallen. Because Gabrielle had been egoistic, but that would change now.

Gabrielle grinned wide and squatted down next to Sam’s sleeping face. She touched her forehead lightly with two fingers and closed her eyes when she healed the girl from the symptoms she was currently showing and feeling. That was all she could do as of yet, but she planned on doing so much more.

-.-.-.-

“Sammy!” Sam turned around and faced the young man she usually bought her dope from, and gave him a small nod. “Haven’t seen you around here lately, how was your Christmas?” Sam shrugged at him and told him that it had been good.

And the New Years Eve?

Good too.

“Well, I certainly am happy to hear that, Sammy. You here to buy some?” he patted his down jacket and clicked his tongue. Sam looked at where his hand was placed but she quickly shook her head, much to the guy’s wonder. “No, not today, I’m meeting someone.”

“What do you mean _meeting someone_? Have you taken on another dealer, lass?” he asked, anger slowly starting to show on his face, but Sam just smiled calmly at him. “No, don’t worry, wouldn’t dream of it. As I was saying I’m just meeting someone here.” She turned away from him and looked around the small crowds of people walking around in the newly fallen snow.

Mothers with their children, lovers hand in hand and a large school group walking together on their way to some exhibition of sorts. And almost out of the blue appeared a woman with a messy pony tail and her clothes carelessly thrown on, waving calmly at Sam with a lollipop in her hand and a big fat grin on her face.

“Ready when you are, Gabe,” and for a moment Sam could have sworn she heard the flutter of wings.


End file.
